Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
