So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize