We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
