real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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