This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
