They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
