with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Of course I have a pirate flag
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
