When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
