That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
