Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize