THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize