What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
