Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
