I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
