i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
babies were throwing up all over the place
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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