I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
