don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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