I need help removing her.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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