I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
