i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
