I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize