VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
