ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
