Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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