Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
