dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
