I bet he comes in French.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
