Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
