dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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