It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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