My boss' voice literally gives me gas
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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