I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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