there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
