Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize