fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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