So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
