Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
