is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
