if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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