Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize