Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
