he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize