I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
