whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
