Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
