why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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