He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
