Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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