if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he quoted the bible to break up with me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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