Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize