happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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