I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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