would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
