I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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