remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
