so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
