Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
