I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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