he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
