I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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