All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
