Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
