But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
