She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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