can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
