I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
