He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
