The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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