You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize