So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
